Valuing People

Sometimes when I was growing up, my dad would ask, "Do you want to go with me?" My response was always, "Where are you going?" He'd say, "That shouldn't matter." So, I'd say, "Well, what are you going to do?" I'd get the answer, "That shouldn't matter either. It's more important who you're with than what you're doing?" I understood the message he was trying to get across, but I still wished for a clear answer.

Since entering the monastery, I find myself doing activities that I didn't care for before, not because I all of a sudden like the activities, but because over the years I've learned, "It's more important who I'm with than what I'm doing."

I was never into jigsaw puzzles, but have found myself putting pieces in if that's what the group is doing.

Sledding???? I hate the cold, but I've even found myself all bundled up having a great time. Not because I enjoy sledding, but I enjoy the people I'm with.

I'm not a huge fan of checkers either, but played around 700 games with Sr. Carla. (We kept a tally. I haven't played checkers since she died in 2008 at 104 years old. I enjoyed being with her even when she kicked my tail.)

Now don't get me wrong. I have my likes and dislikes, but the activity is secondary to the people I'm with.

I was recently invited to watch a movie with a group of sisters. The actual watching of the movie wasn't that important to me as just being with the group. I would have said yes to playing cards, working on a crossword puzzle, or sitting around twiddling our thumbs. That's why when we spent about an hour trying to figure out the DVD player and still couldn't get it to work, it didn't bother me in the least. It was the people I came to be with, not the movie I came to see.

We worked hard to get the DVD player working. We called a few people and even got so desperate that we looked at the instruction manual. We finally switched to a different TV and DVD player in another room.

As a kid, it was annoying to ask my dad what we were doing or where we were going and not get a clear answer. I did learn the lesson though and live my life accordingly. People are more important than places or activities.