We, the Sisters of St. Benedict of Ferdinand, Indiana, are monastic women seeking God through the Benedictine tradition of community life, prayer, hospitality, and service to others. By our life and work, we commit ourselves to be a presence of peace as we join our sisters and brothers in the common search for God.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
How True!
I enjoyed Sister Briana's blog about starting retreat. I remember my first silent retreat at the monastery. I prayed, took a nap, went for a walk, spent time with God, read the Bible, and had a great time meditating and being in silence. That was all in the morning. By the afternoon of that first day I had no idea what to do next! I'm an extrovert - a people person. I told my retreat director I was about to go crazy. Silence was good for a few hours, but how was I ever going to make it the rest of the week. I came from college and enjoyed the dorms. I didn't know what silence was. With the help of my retreat director, Sister Maria, I survived the week. Each summer I go on a week long retreat. Also, each summer I have made progress and start to go crazy later and later in the week. It took me a while to settle into silence - leaving all distractions and truly listening and spending time with God. All time is sacred. Over the years, I've come to an understanding of the beauty and sacredness of silence.
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Hi Sister,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Candice Wilcox! In June I came to visit your community for a week!! I felt at home and wanted to stay but Sister Missy and Jesus said not yet or no (Still not sure). Anyways, I have been discerning for the past fews years and one thing is quite difficult for me: SILENCE!!!!! Like you I am an extrovert: I like to be around people. Throughout my discernment I have had times where we have had quiet times with the Lord. Being quiet with the Lord its difficult for me~~~ Its hard for me to be vulnerable and let Christ love me. Whenever I am silent with Jesus my mind goes every which way and my mind is filled with craziness. Why is it hard for us to let Jesus fully see us?? I know that Jesus loves us but its so hard for me to really believe that sometimes. Slowly Im letting him in! What can I say in my silent pray that will unwrap my heart and let me fully know his love????????
Hi Candace,
ReplyDeleteIt's great to get your comment. You've asked some hard questions. I know what you mean. It does take time, and it is really hard to let Jesus see us fully. It's a life long journey. Here at the monastery, we say that we fall and get up, fall and get up, fall and get up. Keep praying and telling yourself that you are loved. Slowly the barriers that keep us from believing this will begin to erode away. We have to keep chisseling away at it with prayer, prayer, and more prayer. Be faithful to prayer. Try journaling or talking to someone you trust and are close to. Let us pray for one another.